31/08/04(1005am)- i guess its high time i did another update? first off, the fins won yesterday 4-0. it was like the czechs didnt put up a fight and werent even insipired by the recent tragic death of their coach, ivan hlincka.

since my last update though, i can say that not much has gone on. i didnt play open mic last wed cause there were a couple bands from northampton who went on and i was late getting there. but this week im playing at 930 and i wrote a couple songs so it will be cool to atleast test some of my own material rather than playing all covers.

on thursday my parents left after work to bring elise down to penn state. im really proud of my sister (well im proud of lots of people other than myself). maybe im not the best brother and i could give words of encouragement more often, but i really am proud of her. she finished her summer courses and combined with her ap/uconn classes, now has 31 credits- enough to technically be a sophomore. plus she did extremely well in them, so she's starting off her year with 31 credits and an extremely good gpa. maybe i dont say it enough how proud i am of her, but if she asked my friends... she'd know...

so anyways, thursday night i went down to new britain and ended up in farmington at john and sarah's new apartment. it was pretty nice and cozy. and then went home. friday i dont know what i did during the day. oh rght, i met an "old friend" at the centre coffee bar in windsor. it was a nice half hour of pleasant conversation in person for the first time in about 10 months. atleast i thought it was pleasant, but some say im just dilusional. afterwards, i started on a new song, talked to the owner about coffeehouse philosophy, and near landed myself a job. andrew came over in the evening. we ended up watching bad santa and some lewis black. when he left i watched the documentary jon recommended, outfoxed. it wasnt bad but they didnt say too much that i didnt already know.

so that brings us to saturday... didnt do all that much until the evening when andrew and i went to see renata at bourbon st. north. wasnt all that full but they played 2 sets and i got their newest album. the problem with it is that it sounds too much like coldplay and u2 to consider itself original.

sunday and monday? well i didnt leave the house sunday and monday just got me getting a harpers to read lewis lapham's article. today's world cup games are pretty sweet. 1pm is germany v. sweden and then 7pm is us v. canada @ montreal. im striking out on the resume blitz it seems, either "no vacancies" "we'll pass it on" "we think youd benefit from a smaller paper" or "we think youd benefit from a larger paper." and no magazines have responded. in fact, most of the responses actually have been from the brits. so i dont know where everyone else is at.

today? who knows. probably game watching and substitute teacher apps. tomorrow? probably the same thing with open mic in the evening. i just need a premise to start writing the book i wanna write. :-S [discuss]

30/08/04(110pm)- world cup of hockey starts with the round robins. today's game: czech republic vs finland. go fins go! [discuss]

25/08/04 apparently, a smiling john elway is supposed to make me want to take prevacide for my revlux. id say i could use it for my REFLUX, not for john elway. add meredith viera to the list of people i want to slap. okay, why is pat robertson talking about insulin, "high glycemic diets" and "saggy bosoms" on a whiteboard? (915am)- i just woke up from another weird dream. (that makes two days in a row...) in this dream, i was at mcgill for some reason and was in a couple of the buildings and then went to shatner to visit the tribune. shatner got completely renovated again and i couldnt find the trib. the trib ended up being where caferama currently is, while gerts got moved up to the second floor. so i walked into the trib office and there was a huge party going on, but i didnt know anyone there, except katie jenn lisa and nat. and when i say huge party, i mean that it was hard to move in the office. and no one knew me either. so i said i needed a ride to and from convocation and 3 cute girls volunteered but then they realised i was from the states and that they wouldnt be even going near where i was. then there was the spongebob movie... yeah i dunno what was up with that, but i didnt fall asleep til 330 so i dont know how i woke up already. maybe ill go back to sleep? [discuss]

24/08/04(350pm)- considering i own 15 of the 73 albums to make the long list and know what several others sound like, i think that makes me amply qualified to whittle the 73 down to my own shortlist and winner. in no particular order: 1) belle and sebastian "dear catastrophe" 2) jamie cullum "twentysomething" 3) dizzee rascal "boy in da corner" 4) franz ferdinand "franz ferdinand" 5) the killers "hot fuss" 6) muse "absolution" 7) the streets "a grand don't come for free 8) rufus wainwright "want one" 9) air "talkie walkie" 10) tv on the radio "desparate youth, bloodthirsty babes".

of those, my pick for winner of the shortlist is franz ferdinand. they've blown up monsterly (i just hope they still fit the qualifications by the time the winners are picked because i know there have been albums picked for the longlist that get dq'd for the shortlist. theres several others that i could also see making the shortlist, such as peaches "fatherfucker" and joe strummer and the mescaleros "streetcore." however, having to look at all around diversity and keeping in consideration musical artistry and publicity buzz, etc etc i think thats sufficient enough. and if franz ferdinand doesnt win, it'll probably be muse. [discuss]

23/08/04(120am)- HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRAMPA!

just call me doctor fish. (but not really).


[discuss]

21/08/04(540pm)- thank you mommy and daddy :-D (and for graduation...) [discuss]

(1225pm)- i have no idea why birthdays mean something to me... like all my friends birthdays are marked on my calendar, im always quick to send a shout out, depending on who it is- to get a birthday card out, ask what the plans are if i can do something... so im making plans to go to the renata cd release party at the webster this evening. in doing so, id be skipping out on birthday dinner at pepes with the family, and this is the last weekend that elise is here before going back to penn state. however, no one can or wants to go out with me (except for one person) and so its not worth skipping pepes to go to the webster myself. so atleast ill get pepes and family time out of this evening. you know what? thats better than the webster by myself... [discuss]

(1210am)- ive established that most people dont have calendars to mark things down on. its the annual smalrus.com ritual. happy 22. [discuss]

20/08/04(1155am)- "Dear Mr Ross

The editor, Paul Mortimer, has asked me to thank you for your application and your interest in a local paper from 'across the pond'.

Unfortunately there are no vacancies at the moment on our newspaper which caters for the population of our corner of west London. We are news led and have no scope for a music specialist at the moment.

He is sorry to send disappointing news at this time and sends best wishes for the future.

Yours sincerely,

Gail Hébert (Mrs)
Editorial Department,
Times and Guardian series

and so it begins... as of now, thats 3 rejections (the guardian, the richmond and twickenham times, eastbourne herald) and one passed on to the departing hiring coordinator (seattle times). now i know that some of them 'across the pond' have my resume already. i do have to say however, that was one of the most personal rejection letters ever :-) atleast he acknowledged my north american presence...

so lemme go briefly back from the top of what i needed to discuss......... 1) so i came home for the wedding. friday night chris immed me, so we ended up going to pool at the pool factory. was nice to see him cause i only get to see him every once in a while, so we caught up on a lot of stuff. picked margaret up in the morning and we went to the church. was a real nice ceremony, although i was surprised how short it was cause the only weddings ive been to have been jewish weddings and they're usually atleast twice as long in the ceremony. afterwards, we drove to zennys, which is right off 195 and 44. again a real nice little reception with garrett and keith as the djs. it was good to see a bunch of people i just hadnt seen in a while. it was also weird to be at one of my high school friends weddings at 22. and having just come home for the occasion, it was even weirder because it was like, seeing a friend getting married and starting a family when i dont even know what im doing myself for the rest of my life. afterwards, i came back home and then went out and picked up margaret again to go to jons. that was pretty fun and we all watched school of rock and chilled around his apartment. when i got home, the fam was already home with elise from penn st

2) the next day i went to pick up margaret and we went to andrew and sarahs. although, sarah was already gone with john on their honeymoon in the white mountains. so it was andrew carrie me and margaret and we just basically listened to music and the likes, chat up about the wedding and all kinds of stuff...then, lauren was at a party in cheshire, and since i needed to bring her up to montreal with me, she met me halfway at andrews and so we all went home afterwards. later she gave me my graduation/birthday present which was a really nice bill blass pen/pencil set, and this leather covered notebook that you can take the cover off and refill it. really nice. went to bed, long day ahead...

3) woke up the next day and im not sure exactly how the morning started, but we ended up leaving here around 130ish to run some errands including dropping off 137 resumes at the post office. the clerk wants me to come back in a week because after spending a half hour ticking out the postage meter, she has "a vested interest" :-p from there it was off to montreal to collect the rest of my belongings out of the apartment. i have to say, the drive was longer than usual going up, and coming back and im not sure why. and by longer i mean it actually took more time. anyways, we got to customs and i made good on a four year goal: to make it through customs in french without getting put in a detention room for interrogation. i always felt like i could never truly know french unless i could do that. and in my last opportunity to do so, i did it. not only did i do it, but the officer said i spoke french really well. so we got into montreal and all that jazz. david ended up coming over so me lauren rachel david and gabby went to veranda for a bit and it was nice to see them again. then went home for another long day

4) after waking up early to move the car, i went over to davids to have breakfast with him and rachel. they had to go to work so i went to move the car again. did some errands, and i finally got a chance to go to my last lunch of steamies and poutine at belle province. i ended up seeing david on his lunch break as i was walking downtown so he accompanied me, which was nice because i finally got to talk to him one on one. went back around 230 and we loaded up the car and then i was back on the road around 430. not before doing one last thing to seal the deal...

somewhere in the 3 years at 127PAest, i said that i would buy ponytail lady- the woman on the corner of de buillon who always asks for change even though she should know after 3 years that i lived there- a pack of cigarettes on my past day in montreal. so as i walked back to the car to leave, i stopped by the dep to buy a pack of cigarettes and handed them to her. the look on her face was priceless- utter astonishment for getting the entire pack. so i walked to the car, said goodbye to lauren, thought about what i just did and nearly broke down in tears. for it was what i set out to do all that time... the journey came full circle... the way home was also long drive by myself with all my stuff. that damn useless border police at 60 miles away from the border, the merge of 3 lanes of traffic into one on 87 outside of saratoga springs... but the best part of the drive was on the mass pike, just before lee, ma... i saw a shooting star. and i made my wish... its not the first time i made this wish, but it hasnt yet come true, so i keep making it... namely it has to do with exit 39 off 91, but yeah...

meanwhile a new email just popped in from the charlotte observer, saying theyre passing my resume onto the recruitment editor...

i came back from montreal overtired and then wednesday didnt do much other than go to open mic at the main pub. yesterday i went to the bank with elise and then met rane at the space. went down to porters tap room in westbrook. was a really small show for a thursday night on the shore, but i helped them with the loadout and loadin. good 2 1/2 hrs of music and i got to eat from the band menu :-). they debuted a new song, but im really really hazy on the lyrics. and now here i am today...need to get my cellphone numbers transferred into my new verizon cell, maybe apply to starbucks in the meantime, maybe the board of ed? i dunno, but income would be good... income and doing something other than sitting on my ass, which gets old fast. one more day til 22.... [discuss]

17/08/04(1150pm)- things to discuss: 1) the wedding/jons party 2) going over to the concatellis/drive lauren home/leather book 3) driving up to montreal/french customs/seeing david/veranda 4) packing/bellepro/depot/ponytail lady's cigaretes/shooting star on mass pike/exit 39

its been a long tiring drive. its been a wonderful four years. lived. learned. veni vidi vici.

what i learned in 4 years: every once in a while look up. sometimes you miss the details when you're only looking at eye level. [discuss]

13/08/04(1050pm)- um, some of the ethnic comments and jokes by bob costas and katie couric are seeming kinda offensive to me, even if im not from said countries. wheres my peter mansbridge? [discuss]

(955pm)- they just got to canada in the procession of athletes. damn those canadian girls are hot. and the roots usa gear is ass-ugly. but im bored so... [discuss]

(820pm)- been home a day, already bored. after 10 hours on the bus, plus 11 hrs in downtown hartford traffic because of the hartford river run corporate 5k, it was a nice 11 hrs. i was really strung out. and now im watching the olympics opening ceremonies. i love the symbolism that they have in the ceremonies. one drummer in olympia and the other in athens. a flame shoots into the "sea" and lights up the olympics rings. and after seeing basile the comedian and montreal greek community celebrating euro cup, this is like the ear of the greeks for me. what ticks me off though is 536 americans who just set out to "win" the olympics. you dont win olympics. but anyways, i love this time when the olympics are going on. i just hate katie couric's inane chatter.

so its been a day, havent left the house today though i was gonna go to nyc to see seth and nick, but since i still dont have a job still, it would have been too costly for only a few hours. so ive been home. kinda wanna watch school of rock tonight, thought margaret was gonna come over. just eating my salisbury steak, trying to figure out why msn is fucked up on my computer. i think it was this virus i got, except i cleaned it with norton and then the scan checked out fine. so i dunno why uninstalling and reinstalling didnt solve it. tomorrow is the wedding. and elise is coming back with my parents from penn state. and i might watch school of rock later. im otherwise bored, need to sent my resumes out- all 137 of them so far. [discuss]

12/08/04(125pm)- my parents hate it, but i cant help but wishing them a happy 25th anniversary today.

im writing this one from the bus station in white river jct, vt. right now theres about 3 other people in the waiting room and basically im tired as hell. my bus left montreal at 745 and id been on a horrible sleep schedule so i decided that rather than chancing oversleeping, that i would stay up all night. so here i am. ive caught shitty naps here and there on the bus but for the most part ive just been up for the past 24 hours. luckily the border crossing was decent. basically everyone got searched and given the 3rd degree, but atleast its a step in the right direction. like i say, i dont know how those risk management people do it, but as far as im concerned all or nothing is the only way to go. either youre gonna be 99.9% effective or youre going to be 0% effective. kinda curious as to what the success rate is for random searches.

so im trying to think about what's gone on the past couple of days. first of all, monday was my last class. it was a 2 1/2 hr final exam, 1-2 pages single spaced, write one of three questions. so in a nutshell (or not), heres what i picked:
Pour des raisons historiques et sociologiques, la littérature écrit a été rare au Québec jusqu'au XIXe siècle. La sciété étant largement anaphabète, une autre littérature se développe, q'on appelle "la littératre orale," composée preqeue essentiellement de hansons, de contes et de légendes. Toute une vie populaire, physique, sociale et religiese transparaît à travers cette littérature. Si ses origines remontent très loin, cette littérature permet de connaître les traditions québécois et de les expliquer. Montrez comment on peut comprendre l'esprit et la culture du peuple québécois par sa littérature orale.

so one night it was raining and dany and i went out to ste elizabeths and then yesterday i was gonna open mic but ended up packing and then me, straw, jess, and sara went out to bifteck for a pitcher and some onion rings at veranda and after that i just stayed up all night making sure my shit was in order. had more to say but i forgot what any of it is also becase im just that tired. kinda scared about going home. scared about leaving montreal, leaving 127 prince arthur, scared of leaving mcgill. scared about facing saturday, scared about facing unemployment. scared about facing certain people i havent seen for a long time. sometimes i think that the only thing i cant control that im not scared of is the weather. i really wish i could write a book. maybe it would be a fictional account using some premise thats already been done... or maybe a nonfictional account of the history of the convenience store. or the semiautobiographical account of a man who sits on a bus on his laptop while avril lavigne's "my happy ending" keeps looping in his head, slowly causing him to go crazy. thats about the only thing i think im certain of right now. [discuss]

10/08/04(805pm)- this week of transition, i basically feel apathetic to everything. when am i seeing people? do i even feel like seeing people? am i coming back to montreal sunday or monday? do i want to open mic tomorrow? do i want to read my book? do i want to play some music? am i going to nyc on friday to see nick and seth? maybe not. what about the wedding, do i really care to see some people i dont talk to? what about the ones that i do talk to? what about when i come back from montreal and dont have a job? who do i want to see? i mean theres a couple people i havent seen, a couple i haven seen in several months. kinda feeling overwhelmed, kinda feeling apathetic. i just want to know whats next with life. [discuss]

09/08/04(340am)- things to elabourate on that i probably wont: les trois accords at francofolies with dany/james, kickass subletters came from the states (3 law students taking a 3 week course at mcgill), touring the subletters around the downtown, good quebecois lit presentation, good quebecois lit book report, -M- at spectrum for francofolies, vulgaires machines/capitaine révolte at metropolis for francofolies, walk around park lafontaine/st hubert with lisa, ste elizabeths with andrea and straw, a good conversation that needed to be had went nicely, happy birthdays to panthea (friday) and laura (sunday).

today is my last quebecois lit test and then im done as an undergrad. gon' miss montreal. going home towards end of the week and coming back to get the rest of my stuff sometime next week. ive got quite a bit more to say because of the book im reading, fast food nation but i will save it for tomorrow. some of its already typed in an im i had with elise just now, but i could expand. i have a lot to say. but its almost 4am and would be nice to get sleep/study in tomorrow before the test so on that note, the end. [discuss]

07/08/04(300am)- HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY ELISE!!!!!! [discuss]

05/08/04(920am)- this is just ridiculous. [discuss]

01/08/04(205pm)-
1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4: in europe, the countries with the most internet users are
2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? ow, my finger got caught in the fan
3: What is the last thing you watched on TV? i fell asleep to H at 530 this morning :-S
4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is: 210 (cause i started working on the entry at 205). however, my body feels like its 9am.
5: Now look at the clock; what is the actual time? 211. wow im psychic
6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? 3 fans going at once
7: When did you last step outside? What were you doing? it was about 20 minutes ago, i just came back from the laundromat with my clothes
8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at? well i was looking at nates site, which is where i found this
9: What are you wearing? lewis black shirt and shorts, but i gotta shower and change
10: Did you dream last night? i believe i did, as a matter of fact i think one was about camp eagle feather. oh and now i remember the other: i went to see rane play in burlington and alan was so drunk that he couldnt sing and they had to stop the show and cancel and then i went and volunteered to dan that i would take over for alan on vocals and guitar because there literally would have been mob rule if rane didnt play their set.
11: When did you last laugh? last night at depot
12: What is on the walls of the room you are in? all of my stuff and all of laurens stuff. youd be surprise when you can fit a room within a room
13: Seen anything weird lately? well i was walking home last night past cabaret, and since its gay pride week, they had lesbomonde and some of the people i thought from afar were straight couples, but as i got closer i realised they weren't.
14: What do you think of this quiz? i want to fall asleep
15: What is the last film you saw? harold and kumar go to white castle
16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? the entire collection at hmv
17: Tell me something about you that I don't know: i slept naked last night. lauren will love that. :-p
18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? this is gonna sound like a great generic answer, but i would get rid of the stupid people. stupid according to me. kinda like that simpsons halloween episode where bart has the gift to just make the cat into the firebreathing umbrella-tailed beast, etc.
19: Do you like to dance? okay, but at concerts, not clubs
20: George Bush: o canada, my home and native land....
21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? girl
21: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? felix
22: Would you ever consider living abroad? well when you technicalize the fact that canada is abroad, then yes ive done it 4 years, id continue to do it, and i wouldnt mind trying other countries also. [discuss]