The Smalrus Web Site

Apparently, I’ve vastly neglected this site over the course of first-year, second semester. Quite a bit has gone on over the past 4 months since my San Francisco update. In the not too distant future, I’ll have to run a quick update on my first year in the program, followed by what’s to come…

My sister is in the process of applying for a program. In an initial draft of her personal statement, she writes about my convoluted path to happiness. I don’t necessarily think it fits her personal statement, but I’m flattered nonetheless… Dayenu, Elise…

“I have tried to start believing that life has a way of falling into place and that circumstances happen for a reason… bashert. I try to view my older brother as a testimony to this philosophy. Had he not underachieved in college and not been undecided about his future, he would not have ended up back home for 2 years. Had he not ended up back home and not been lonely, he would not have registered on JDate. Had he not registered on JDate and not gone out on a few dates, he would not have met his wife. Had he not been frustrated with living at home and not wanted more for himself, he would not have tried to pursue law school. Had he not pursued law school and not been unsuccessful being accepted into a school, he would not have then pursued an MBA. Had he not pursued an MBA and not interned for an investment firm in Manhattan, he would not have gotten a job offer. Had he not gotten a job offer and not been laid off, he would not have had almost a year to re-evaluate. Had he not had almost a year to re-evaluate and not have realized he wanted a PhD, he would not have pursued the perfect path for his life. Bashert.”

Well coincidentally, today — the mid-semester date — happens to fall on the one year anniversary of my termination at AllianceBernstein. What a ridiculous year it’s been, but simultaneously amazing, at that. The dual milestone seemed a fitting time to write a post on what’s been going on for me in the intervening year.

Let’s see… for starters, I’m married now… Wasn’t that tax status last year. The wedding went well — rather amazing actually, though we haven’t really gotten to experience “true” married life since we haven’t had much time to do so. Besides, we’d been living together for more than a year before the wedding, so cohabitation was a non-issue. There are professional pictures here (http://is.gd/4uB8q) and many of our friends’ snapshots here (http://is.gd/4uBaJ).

Let’s see… The Tuesday following the wedding was the first day of PhD orientation at UMass-Amherst, and everything has been pretty good since then. This semester, I’m taking:

* PSYCH 660 — Advanced Social Psych (which has been real interesting, talking about stereotypes, prejudices, cults, decision biases, heuristics, etc).
* PSYCH 640 — Statistics in Psych (which has been a real doozy, particularly since my prof is very math/proof-based, rather than conceptual-based. First midterm last week did NOT go well.)
* MGMT 805 — Research Methods (which is pretty neat and I have a great prof. There’s a lot of “how do we design a good experiment? How do we make sure the experiment gives us valid results? What are the best experimental designs?” etc.)

Also, everyone in the department goes to the biweekly Friday proseminar — run by our department head — that has our third/fourth-year PhD candidates present their research, as well as brings in some professors from other schools around New England to present. So far the courses haven’t been too bad, with the exception of stats. There’s never nothing to do… which is good, because it keeps me mentally occupied.

I have two years of courses; at the end of this year, I take a core exam and at the end of next year, I take my comprehensive exam. My third year, I’ll be doing research and teaching a course each semester. And in my fourth year, I’ll be writing my dissertation. I’m mostly looking to focus research on consumer behavior, marketing communications, brand management, and corporate social responsibility.

For my assistantship, I’ve been assigned to work with two different professors, and so they’ve already put me to work creating surveys for eventual data collection (from corporate privacy officers), grading exams, mapping social networks, and reading lit/data for an eventual paper they want me to get published/presented at a conference possibly this year. I’m really looking forward to writing this paper since it would be my first journal publication and, though they already collected the data, the process of “how to interpret the data” has already taught me a lot. It’s hard to conceive the learning curve I have ahead of me in 4 years, but even in past 6 weeks, I’m already seeking a marked difference in what I’ve learned.

So… was getting laid off the worst thing that happened to me? Well, it was unexpected, yes. It threw off what I thought were my plans for the future. But I was fortunate enough to hit a lucky bounce along the way and head in the direction I was meant for. At the risk of sounding fatalistic, perhaps for me, it really did all happen for a reason. Right now, I’m in the best place I could be and primed for a future that perhaps I was destined to have.

KRAMER: I mean, what are you thinking about Jerry? Marriage? Family?

JERRY: Well…

KRAMER: They’re prisons. Man-made prisons. You’re doing time. You get up in the morning. She’s there. You go to sleep at night. She’s there. It’s like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. “Is it all right if I use the bathroom now?”

JERRY: Really?

KRAMER: Yeah, and you can forget about watching TV while you’re eating.

JERRY: I can?

KRAMER: Oh, yeah. You know why? Because it’s dinner time. And you know what you do at dinner?

JERRY: What?

KRAMER: You talk about your day. “How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don’t know. How about you? How was your day?”

JERRY: Boy.

KRAMER: It’s sad , Jerry. It’s a sad state of affairs..

JERRY: I’m glad we had this talk.

KRAMER: Oh, you have no idea.