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Josie (1985-1999)

After a long life and unfortunately short ending, we had to put our black lab, Josie, to sleep on December 21, 1999. Back around July of 1999, my dad had diagnosed her with kidney disease and arthritis. In a few months, she would also be diagnosed with lung cancer and heart disease. We knew it was the end and unfortunately, I had to have my piano lesson as my dad came home on that last day. I broke down as I was playing and the piano teacher left. Everyone in the house was crying and I don't think I'll forget the look on Josie's face as my dad picked her up to carry out the door. She looked like a little puppy- so innocent. I won't forget the last time I saw her in the back seat of the car as my dad pulled off and she looked behind her and saw us waving and crying I don't know what she was thinking perhaps she was in too much shock or pain, but I hope she's happy wherever she is.

We had her for 11 years; she was 14 when she passed. I'll never forget all the great times I had with her. She's been here since I was 6 and all I've ever known is coming home from school to see her prancing to go out. Or waking up every morning to feed her. If there's anyone close to me whose loss will be the greatest in my short life so far, it is Josie. We do have a bond that goes way back. There were all the times we threw tennis balls in the backyard, or the times she got lost out of the gate, but only managed to meander a yard or two over. There were the beginning years where we had to put her in a cage in the living room so she didn't mess up the house while we were gone and that one time where I swear she came upstairs into my room late at night those first few weeks, even though she was never allowed up there. There was the scat mat to keep her out of the living room, which was later made out to be a leash tying her in the kitchen. The time that she ate the whole corn cob out of the garbage when we were away and she had to have emergency surgery. How about when the doorbell rang and she would run to the door, once in a while taking the kitchen table too :) There were the few times we took her out for walks around the neighborhood, the times we fell asleep on the couch downstairs and she'd spend the night downstairs with us, or when daddy would take her to the nursing home and she would bring out even some of the reclusive patients... So many memories...

I was always around for her. I could give her a hug and I knew that if I was stressed, I'd feel better and she'd be glad and give a wag, or if I needed someone to vent my feelings, she'd listen like a person, but never say anything. Now after her loss, I come home to an empty house for the first time in my life. I can hear her barking outside, but I know I'll never be able to let her in again. The first few days after, her collar sat by her dog bowl, the one where her food sat untouched for the entire day that she was here last. Now her box of ashes is buried beside the back porch where she used to try and dig some holes. Above it, hanging on the fence betweeen the decking and the ground, is her dog collar.

I know I'm at a stage in my life where change is happening rapidly, what with colleges and whatnot, but the one that that's always stayed constant with me is Josie. Yeah, her memories will always live on in what I do, but her presence is something I will truly miss. She's the only dog I've really ever liked. I've always had a fear of big dogs, with their teeth, their pouncing on you, their clawing you've never liked it. But Josie...She was different- perhaps the calmest, friendliest dog I've ever known; The type of dog that if you knew her, she touched your heart and stayed there. We love you Josie.

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