pothos @ 100%
presenting Smalrus Abstracts Folio 3... ambient grooves
29/11/03(300pm)- im glad my parents are here with elise. last night i saw them after ed board and we went to westmount only to end up for dinner at caverne greque. however, it was still nice even if my dad tried to pass himself off as the toronto-based fucktard. anyways, its nice having them here. we might to go a game tonight while my mom and elise go to the players' theatre play. thursday night was thanksgiving here and we had like 27 people? but it was really nice. we had a lot of fun and good food and i did a lot of straigtening out and vacuuming. then we basically hung around here. this am i wrote the poutine article for the trib and also some editing. and that leaves the rest of the weekend. gotta go to the office tomorrow and do some other stuff, but things are otherwise well. its started to snow and i gotta do my laundry, but maybe when everyone leaves. thanks to dad, we have 27 pairs of scrubs. ive got enough clothes to last me til laundry :-p
27/11/03(1240pm)- happy american thanksgiving, the best thing i saw was the arnold schwartzenegger sketch on conan. "indian cyborgs, ja!" last couple of days ive been trying to rest combatting this cold ive now got. finished my eu paper. i think it came out well. tomorrow the family is coming up and im excited. this is the first time in 4 years theyve come to visit me during the year. yeah im looking forward to it. margaret is a good friend. i think im goofed on robitussin. tonights tgiving dinner should be pretty good. lots of people coming. still miss her. one month til hope seed. i think im gonna go lie down a sec and rest myself for later...
23/11/03(105pm)- long day today- maybe an all nighter? ive got my EU paper due tuesday. in the office today. got my business cards. they look nice. wrote movement 3 of my opus last night. watched both games yesterday. the megastars lost 2-0 but we won the important game 4-3. it was pretty excellent to see them all outdoors, playing like hockey was originally meant to be- on ponds (although the "pond" in the football stadium was contrived, but good nonetheless). anyways. might go to place milton now before the office and then work. more later...
22/11/03(805am)- im up too early by my own will. ill fall back to sleep in due time. but later today shall be excellent hockey. first outdoors games in nhl history. first is the habs-oilers alumni game at 430 and then the habs-oilers game at 7. going over to kerr's house with everone to watch the games. should be most excellent. hockey at its roots. had something else to say here but i forgot. saw elf last night. cute movie. more later...
21/11/03(1215pm)- i know hes michael jackson, but no one gives a shit anymore. fucking no one gives a shit to watch his suv in las vegas traffic. no one gives a shit thats hes as weird now as he was in 1993. no one gives a shit that his face couldnt look anymore like ET's. fucking youve made your headline. no one gives a shit anymore. fuck you cnn. turn that shit off. the media has gone awol on public sensibility.
(1201am)- happy birthday dad!!!
20/11/03(1159pm)- i couldnt feel shittier about things than right about now. i had a dream once about marriage. but i, i have become comfortably numb. yes, pessimistic, cynical, nihilistic, and existential. could it be said that to never have loved is to never have lost? yeah, The Stranger. but i like existential works. yeah.
20/11/03(145pm)- long term goals: 1) take down the pricks at clearchannel entertainment. its not entertainment, its mindless drivel for the masses. 2) get prominent financial backing to get a world's fair in reykjavik by 2010. it would be a great place, and id finally have reason to learn and use icelandic.
18/11/03(630pm)- last couple of days been busy with the paper. scrambling to get writers stuff, miscommunications, mixups. messy weekend. and spent most of it also trying to recover from the allnighters. saturday night went to queue leu leu. i still say, that is a bizarre place. and those guys in lederhosen on the table have to be one of the most homoerotic things ive been participant to in this city (that would be next to sward touching me. ha :-p) yesterday and today were somewhat busy although today shatner was closed due to its insurance running out. go figure, someone dropped the ball on that one. im thinking maybe going to concord to penuches on saturday but we'll see. saturday is supposed to be my opus night. i think im being ignored though anyways. i hate feeling like this. :-/ i should hit my poetry book up. *sigh*
got the new beatles let it be. i never owned a copy of the original, but this is pretty clean sounding, particularly ringo's hi-hats. some of the songs i had only heard in their rough anthology versions, so its interesting to hear the final versions. minus phil spector's wall of sound. gotta do my eu paper sometime soon. really dont want to but. yeah. i think their concept of launching it as officially 'let it be, the way you should have heard it the first time' is really interesting. this will probably get me on another beatles kick. and right about now, i could use that. on a final note, below is the latest in the end of the chrétien saga. i'll have been in canada for 2 federal elections now, as well as a transition in prime ministers. this is so cool.
Martin to be new prime minister Dec. 12 as Chretien announces departure
OTTAWA (CP) - Paul Martin will become the country's 21st prime minister on Dec. 12, turning the page on a decade of Jean Chretien rule.
After an overwhelming Liberal leadership victory by his longtime adversary, Chretien announced Tuesday he will retire well ahead of his scheduled February departure. That clears the way for Martin to choose a new cabinet, open a fresh parliamentary session in the new year and prepare a budget in advance of a likely spring election.
Martin said he will immediately begin the necessary work....
15/11/03(230pm)- ed board was okay, sorta. tried taking an easier evening last night just because i was so tired. and then i got elises news even though she found out monday and never told me until last night. kinda stressing just in general. but about everything.
i had a weird dream last night. it involved wiring our apartment for cable- back from the source. only the cable was twizzlers. and our apartment looked like the basement back in ct. and the nelsons were there. and we couldnt figure out the cable so i started following the twizzler cable. then it lead us to the hard rock cafe in nyc where we ate lunch and then kept following the cable. the cable was part of the suspension cables on one of the bridges going over the st. lawrence. but everyone was letting go of the cables and falling into the river, so i did the same. there was a big boat party on the river- lots of boats all over. so we swam to one and then went on this waterslide. on the waterslide, they were handing out fliers to see the habs-whalers. marc zirolli was there and i was harassing him about the whalers sucking. then we went back to the apartment, but wasnt our apartment. jen was in her room and we were checking her answering machine messages. the rest of the dream, that was just plain weird and then i woke up. still kinda recovering from the last 2 nights but yeah. *sigh* i hate the weekends. im thinking captain and tenille. hm...
14/11/03(900pm)- CONGRATULATIONS ELISE!!!! I knew you could do it!! I'm proud of you my little newly annointed nittany lion. :-D they dont know what they're getting themselves into next year there at...
(430pm)- between yesterday and today, not much has happened. but, ive finally finished that damn paper. next one's not due for 2 weeks. so that's basically given me a complete lack of sleep with the exception of the 3 and 5 hour naps over the last 2 nights. i really wish i could go home and play some guitar right now but ive gotta stick around for ed board :-/ luckily thats momentarily so i dont have to worry about that. went to moe./nero last night (had to break from paper work). excellent show. as always, nero put on a good set and the guys were super nice after. they always remember my name, which is cool especially since their rising fame has probably gotten them a big following. however connections are always great and plus, they played with rane so thats cool. they said they definitely would love to be doing some shows with rane, so id love to work that out with them once hope seed's released. the moe. show was really good too, although i went home after the first song of the second, 2 1/2 hr set. couldnt stay the whole show, i had to come back home and work and cabaret is in the middle of the plateau. anyways, this weekend maybe i can sleep again after all these papers this week. and of course sunday is always our day for layout so basically that leaves me saturday to sleep in and then do work. yeah, still struggling with the weekends. i miss her still. time for ed board.
13/11/03(615am)- ive been here at depot for about 7 hours now and all ive got is about 3 pages for this paper. its due friday but i was hoping to get a greater chunk done than i have. meh, no stress. ive realized that a lot of francophones wander into depot this early in the morning. including the hells angels of cops that are reading the news papers. they dont look so much like cops as much as ss guards. they even have the boots. ive had 2 large lattes and ill probably make that 3. also a half box of capn crunch. my cousins supposed to be in this weekend. im going to nero/moe. later this evening. that dog is cute. i need a dog. i miss josie. what a great dog she was. mom doesnt want another dog to mess up her house, etc. if, whenever i can afford one, im gonna get one i think. dogs are they greatest thing. they know when youre sad, they know how to cheer you up. they dont talk back but you can talk to them. its just so easy to see why they're man's best friend. *sigh*
im probably just delirous now, but i needed this all nighter for 2 reasons: 1) to start my paper 2) to resync my body clock, which is way off. talked to elise tonight, that was nice. she said a couple things im glad to hear. didnt get to talk to my parents though, they were off at pilates. the sun's starting to come up, i can see the black turning to dark blue. now how long will it take to rise? the guy here at depot's been playing floyd for like, the last 2 hours. it was really loud before, but now i dont think it is. i started using itunes for windows this evening. i kinda like it. its not bad. i feel like a poem right now, but i should probably get back to my paper. next saturday is opus movement 3. "wish you were here" is playing now. goddamn tabarnac.
12/11/03(215am)- today was a majorly stressing day. i dont know why. i went to hmv to pick up the coldplay live dvd/cd. it wasnt bad although i can see how rolling stone said theres too much flipping between all the cameras. anyways, then it just started going crazy. i made dinner tonight and a pretty good 24 was on. after that, i dunno. tomorrow is yet another day and also american chopper is on now. also gotta do some stuff for my arab israeli paper due friday. my new york times xword times been averaging around 20 min this week. im just highly stress and the fallout continues. angry, upset, hurt, sad, and yet i cant help but think of coldplay's shiver... "i will always be waiting for you..." :'(
11/11/03(545pm)- Everything is quiet, Since you're not around,
And I live in the numbness now.
In the background.
I do the things we did before,
I walk Haight Street to the store,
And they say where's that crazy girl?
You don't get drunk on red wine, And fight no more,
I don't see you anymore,
Since the hospital,
Words they come and memories all repeat,
Lift your head while they change the hospital sheets,
I would never lie to you, No
I would never lie to you, No
I felt you long after we were through.
When we were through
The plans I make still have you in them,
Cause you come swimming into view,
And I'm hanging on your words like I always used to do,
The words they use so lightly, I only feel for you,
I only know because I carry you around,
In the background.
~3eb
(1111am)- In Flanders Fields
by John McCrae
In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch, be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields
10/11/03(650pm)- its done. im tired, got 4 1/2 hrs of sleep last night. listening to coltrane's blue train now. ive been on a big jazz kick as of late. somewhat soothing. considering im still feeling hurt, i need soothing. im in the office now, ive gotta review a play for the trib tonight. not the most fun but it should be alright. im just tired from last night and working on the paper. im lying down on one of the couches and half fallling asleep typing this. who knows, im still falling out...
(1250am)- 4 years later, im still watching keeping up appearances at this time of night. sometimes the more things change, the more they stay the same. tonight ive gotta write my canadian political history paper on the media and the 2000 federal election. fun is. luckily its only 10 pages, so thats not horrendously hard to do. since thursdays been ed board and this molière play, "les fourberies de scapin." it was alright but not really so funny until the second act. anyways. then yesterday, i dunno what i did but i went to the jean leloup concert. it was really good, but my review is in the trib this week, so ill wait till then. today i went to the office, did work on layout and reading sets. and now keeping up appearances before my paper. what if i never went to mcgill? what if i never came to montreal? fallout. fallout. i want to play hockey.
06/11/03(1035pm)- thats over. after spending most of yesterday studying eu stuff, i finally wrote my balls off on neofunctionalism vs. realism, intergovernmentalism vs. supranationalism, institutional mechanisms and all that other IR bullshit that is haskels eu class. i wrote the entire 90 min and structured and made all the points i could in 90 min. but she hates me so who knows how ill do. but its finally over. and apparently our arab israeli paper is due next fri now instead of tues, so thats most excellent. what else. since yesterday was mostly studying, i didnt do a whole lot else. nor on tuesday, which was 24 night. i made homemade fettuccini alfredo- pasta included. twas excellent. 24 was better this week too. i think its all in the commercial breaks. something about those uninterrupted season premieres isnt so good. went to see matrix revolutions last night. i would give it **. it was good with the tragic hero stuff, but the fight sequences were drawn out and not revolutionary in comparison to the first or even reloaded. all it was was a continuation of plot, but not much more to it. every once in a while there were philosophical lines here and there but thats it.
studied most of today after my french presentation and then took the test only to come home, pick up my laundry and do a little relaxing. thats where im at now. tomorrow night, i have to see this molière play, les fourrberes des scapières, or something like that. good ol french class. then saturday night is the jean leloup concert- not tomorrow night like the countdown says. listening to some string cheese now. got a new printer cartridge fedexed up from home. 2 hockey games against buffalo this weekend. and of course trib stuffs tomorrow. thats about it. weather's been pretty dulling as of late. kinda depressing. been going back to some old school cds of mine. interesting to see where my musical tastes have evolved from 4 years ago. i think its a reflection of me. more later...
04/11/03(235pm)- did i forget to mention its november. today was the first snowfall and theres accumulated flakes here asnd there. now we're back to ice pellets though. habs hockey tonight vs. edmonton. and also, its episode 2 of 24, which is always exciting. and i might try and make homemade pasta again since it was a bust last week. but thats tbd. still very stoked about the news of the new rane album. we're already guessing setlists on drop. exciting 2 months ahead...
yet another issue of the trib out and i have the off the board this week on plagiarism. not bad if i dont say so myself. still the jean leloup concert on saturday night and then on the 17th is les cowboys fringants in beloeil. editing this week went much more evenly with me and panthea so im a feeling a little better about it because i want her less stressed. and apparently she was out of the office by 10 on sunday so things must have been well. matrix revolutions out tomorrow but i hear it sucks. there was something else to go here, but i forgot. i went to get the coldplay live dvd today but it turns out not to be released here til next tuesday, so that sucked. the stills' logic will break your heart is really good and might be on my top 10 of the year. oh yeah, and that eu exam on thursday which im kinda dreading. i am not a fan of haskel at all, but thats me. anyways. between everything, im keeping busy. more when i have it, i guess...
02/11/03(905pm)- rane and Tides Records are happy to announce that they will release the band's first new studio albums in more than three years on Dec. 27 at Cheney Hall in Manchester, CT. The Hope Seed and its two accompanying discs, From the Vine Volumes 1 & 2, will feature a total of more than 30 new tracks. IM me for details.
(1215pm)- habs have been on a nice losing streak as of late. thats sarcasm if you cant tell. listening to the canadian version of sam roberts now. its got a different track listing and a song thats not on the american version. also had to replace my lost les cowboys fringants cd. i like that album and i am surely going to miss the quebecois music. next saturday is the jean leloup concert and im really excited because i like his music a lot and ive never been to a francophone concert. im still trying to get an interview with him for the trib so i can expand our francophone scope. i may also try to see les cowboys because they're playing here dec 30 but i wont be here.
also moe. is playing with nero here in 2 weeks. may try for that. and fuckin rane+nero+particle on wednesday at the chance in poughkeepsie. fucking if i didnt have a midterm the next day, i would rent a car and drive down, that is such a sick show. but alas.... :( they were supposed to announce the cd release info last night for their new album, the hope seed, but i havent heard news yet, other than i will be home for the release. i missed the camelo release in 2000 because of senior reception being the same night. 3 years later, i wonder if that was a good move either? hm. speaking of... i pulled out this letter the other night, that i wrote about in grade 12 about what was going on in my life and outlook on the future and i was thinking of writing one now. it was 22 pages and virtually mentioned all the people in my life and where i stood with them and where i thought the future was going to be and i spent like a week's worth of classtime writing it. im thinking of doing it again because im back to that iffy stage in life again. the one where you cant see past graduation and start getting introspective as a result...
back to the office today to work on sets. panthea and i kinda worked out a better system that we're tinkering with, but i think its a little better and a little more communicative than before. she was at the office til 5am last sunday because i didnt know what the schedule was for reads and so i kinda thought i figured it and so i left and she came in at like 11 and redid everything from scratch basically :-( anyways, i think this week was a little better. im trying to even out the roles more for the both of our interests- also why i reapplied to be editor was to be able to learn more and get my hands in more of the editing.
what else. lackluster halloween. horrible costume: backwards man. worst costume ive ever done, especially in comparison to alex delarge from clockwork orange 2 years ago. i got stopped on the street by someone who recognized me from that costume. went to katies party, where there was girls from her sorority, a few tribbies, and some other group. but unfortunately for her, there wasnt a whole lot of mingling, and then it was an unfortunate end to the party so that was that. yesterday david and i went to the exposition at musee des beaux arts to see the 60s exhibit, which was pretty cool. hadnt been to the museum in a while, so it was nice to get some culture. still want to see more dali or magritte or something like that. and then jenn came over and we watched clockwork orange. that was about it. i guess ill have more to report at a later juncture in time...
