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THE SMALRUS WEB SITE v. 7.0

        

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"Snatch" This Film

by Spencer Ross

Repeatedly, I've heard of Guy Ritchie's new film, "Snatch," as a remake of his earlier successful British flick, "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels." Fortunately for myself and for this review, I haven't seen his previous movie. Nonetheless, I got to see "Snatch" on an IMAX screen and wasn't disappointed. Its definitely a movie I'd want to see it again on DVD etc, because of its lightheartedness, even if one has to mention Ritchie's affiliation to Madonna, who's 80's hit, "Lucky Star," makes an appearance in the film. However, the plot of the movie is rather fragmented and not solidified until the end and is only a 3 1/2 star. The movie is set in London, so its great to hear the accents, which punctuates the fun this film creates.

"Snatch" opens with the scene of four Chasids who are shown wandering through a building on security cameras until they finally reach the room where the diamond is kept and hold the place up until they get it. This scene uses some great stop footage as they mess the place up and gives Ritchie time to show some more credits. They leave the building and get away in a van, pulling off their disguises and admiring the 84K diamond. Thus we are introduced to a couple of the main characters, including Franky Four-Fingers (Benicio Del Toro), who likes to gamble and when he cant pay, loses his fingers. We also meet Turkish (Jason Statham) and his sidekick,Tommy (Stephan Graham), who are the main characters of the movie. Their goal is to buy a new caravan (Brit slang for trailer house) with the money from their casino and underground, unlicensed boxing matches. When they head to a caravan park to try to buy a caravan, they run into a fight and face off their prize fighter, Georgeous George (Adam Fogerty) against One-Punch Mickey (Brad Pitt), who is one of the bare-knuckled fighting champs among the "pikeys" or, British trailer-trash gypsies. They speak with such a British/Scottish accent that you can barely understand them, adding to the humour. Of course Mickey takes out George and, having lost his best fighter, Turkish must persuade Mickey to take George's place or else he'll be in debt to Brick Top (Alan Ford), and that is not something you want. Brick Top is the kind of guy who looks really friendly, but is a guttless, ruthless, moblike man who only cares that his fights are rigged so he wins with the bookies. "Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this instance by an 'orrible cunt... me!" he tells two robbers later.

The plot line then becomes rather confusing because there are several plot lines and they don't interact until later in the movie. The man who was to get the 84K diamond flies to England to know where Franky is, but Franky gambles on the fights and is missing by Tyrone (Ade), Neil (William Beck), and Errol (Andy Beckwith), two black guys who end up involved with Boris the Blade (Rade Serbedzija), who sells guns to people, and Brick Top. After Mickey hits Brick Top's guy rather than falling down in the fourth like he's told, Turkish is in debt to Brick Top and through a whole mess of circumstances, Mickey's mom's caravan is burnt down by Brick Top's men, the diamond is swallowed by Neil (or was it Errol)'s dog along with the squeak toy, and its a continuing chase for the diaond. Meanwhile, Mickey is again supposed to fall in the fourth, but manages to stay up and knock the other guy out. How the pikeys get their revenge comes near the end where it all ties together.

All in all, the movie was very enjoyable to watch. At times the storyline was confusing and hard to link together, but there are some interesting directing techniques Ritchie uses, such as the use of slow motion and darkness when Mickey is knocked out, sailing across the ground perfectly parallel to it. Or the security cameras to show movement through a building. The soundtrack was great and between the Klezmer, the St. Germain sound, and the British techno, you barely cared about Madonna's song being there. There's a lot of gratuitous violence, but for some reason, its all in good fun because you know that with that kind of music, nothing can be taken too seriously. High-paced? Yes, but Ritchie does a great job putting together an lighthearted and interesting, yet fragmented story.

2/4/01

    


Google Finance

I've become a big advocate of Google. I think they truly have managed to break the hold of Microsoft and if anything, have also demonstrated the sheer power of the cliched Web 2.0. This finance site is no small potatoes either. The graphs are so simple yet so lush in data, and the rest of the pages are no different. Perhaps the most appealing feature is the portfolio which, with a Google account, lets you enter in how many shares of a stock you own and track all of its vitals in one page. I entered in my 401k breakdown and at any given time, it lets me visualise my account better than my 401k planner does.



Gastroenteritis

The stomach flu got me at the end of the year, making for the worst sickness I've felt in probably 10-15 years. Every hour, I was either on or over the toilet and at times, had to keep a bag next to the bed for those times I couldn't make it to the toilet fast enough. From what I've heard, I wasn't the only one to catch this horrible disaster in the past 2-3 weeks. I was supposed to go to Andrew's for the opening of the 7 year old time capsule and video but the stomach flu sidelined my plans (I'm finally at about 85% recovery) and for that, you are the asshole of the week.




The Smalrus Habs Rankings 2004-2005

Rankings pending...


Opus of Prince Arthur and St. Laurent, No. 03

Movement 1, September 20
Movement 2, October 18
Movement 3, November 22
Movement 4, December 20
Movement 5, January 17
Movement 6, February 21
Movement 7, March 27
Movement 8, April 17
Movement 9, CODA, May 22

        


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